My first impressions on Superman 64…

Saturday, September 23rd, 2017

So I was at the Scotland Comic-con today, and found a copy of Superman 64 for sale.

So I thought, what the heck? I’ve enjoyed some “shitty” games in the past, so maybe this will be the same. It’s a late 90s polygonal game, it’s right up my alley! I don’t mind going through rings so long as the rest is okay.

So I went home, set up my Nintendo 64 and stuck the game in.

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I expected the game to either be not as bad as people say, or so bad, it’s awesome! Every bad game I’ve played has fallen into one these categories.

This game, however, is neither… it is dreadful! One of the very few games I actually hate! Everything they say about the game… it’s true… very true…

The controls are fucking atrocious, it is too sensitive, you cannot change them, and there’s a lot of lag in them!

And every time you conplete the rings and fail the challenge, guess what? You have to go through the fucking rings all over again!

I’ve enjoyed some “awful” games in the past: Virtual Hydlyde, Diakatana, WWE All Stars on the PS2, WCW Backstage Assault, Robot Arena 1, Rise of the Robots, Bubsy 3D… BUBSY! FUCKING! THREE DEE! I ENJOYED BUBSY FUCKING 3D!

but this…. THIS! This is truly garbage! This deserves every crticism it recieves!

Although… it isn’t entirely Titus’ fault that this happened, WB were kind of dicks to them, being unecessarily strict with what Superman can and can’t do, and Titus even went as far as to reference Superman comics to prove them wrong on some occasions, such as the idea that Superman won’t fight or kill people in the real Metropolis, “requiring” a virtual one be made, or something. I would link to the video I heard this from, but my site blocker has blocked my sites for the night… damn offline commitment!

Titus aren’t entirely in the clear, after all, they have lied about their own game prior to release on a few occasions, but I guess this teaches us one important lesson… WB were horrible back then… and they’re horrible now! (See: Batman Arkham Origins, Batman Arkham Knight, Mad Max, Man of Steel, Batman v Superman, Suicide Squad and more…) Why do people, myself included, keep buying their products?

If they hadn’t had such massive IPs such as Looney Tunes, Anamaniacs and all the DC heroes they acquired when buying DC comics, they would have gone bankrupt long ago… long ago!

I never thought that I would ever say this… but please… don’t buy this game… save your money! Do something more useful with your money… like burn it… or flush it down the toilet… or buy shit on Amazon, I don’t know…

Will this stop me from attempting to play through the game? Probably not. I am kind of machochist when it comes to things like this, I guess, and also my conscience deminds I finish what I start, and I have started something I shouldn’t have… playing this game, that is… in case it wasn’t obvious…

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My Thougts on The Room (Spoilers)

Tuesday, September 12th, 2017

T’was a masterpeice, Tommy Wisaeu is the human form of perfection! Aliens should watch the film as they enter our planet, before they enslave us for eternity!

In all seriousness, this film was… interesting, to say the least.

To say the film was awful I don’t think is quite accurate.

Yes, the acting was bad, awful, even. Yes, the writing was all over the place. Yes, it has Tommy Wiseau. Yes, the theme song was overused to the point that you can’t get it out of your head, and you end up constantly humming it and annoy the fuck out of everybody, losing all of your friends and alienating your family, leading to a lonely life, with only your thoughts to talk to, causing you to go insane and leads to your ultimiate demise, confined to a life in a mental institution.

But it was… enjoyable.

Seriously, me and my brother had an amazing time watching it! We wanted to watch the special features! Seriously, what other film can you name that you wanted to watch the special features of?!

The film does have qualities that I do unironically enjoy, for example, (oh yes, I forgot, SPOILERS!) When Johnny Wisaeu (YES I KNOW THAT ISN’T HIS NAME, BUT IT FITS!) goes insane and shoots himself in the ends, I felt his pain, we wanted to slap Lisa in the face for what she did! Or should I say… tear her apart?

Some of the actors were very good, like the man who threatened to kill a child over drug money, he was a genuinely good actor, it almost felt out of place…

Lisa’s mother, the one with breast cancer, was also pretty good, but not good enough to be out of this place in the film…

That’s all I can positively say unironically about the film.

Everything else was terrible, it was poorly directed, poorly written, poorly thrown-together, it was clearly made by an alien who has no idea how humans interact… either that or he’s actually from a foreign country whose culture differs greatly from countries that speak an Anglic language… yeah, that’s probably it.

However, it’s the perfect blend of bad, and it makes for an awesome experience!

Seriously, everyone needs to watch this! I am not saying this for a joke, it provides an experience unlike anything you’ve ever seen before! After all, they say that looking for experiences in life is the way to a happy life…

So what have we learned from this? Watching the room leads to happiness! Seriously, watch this! Don’t torrent or stream it, buy the DVD or Blu-Ray, you need this in your life!

Now that I’ve experienced The Room, time to listen to The Disaster Artist…

Retro Diary #79

Sunday, September 3rd, 2017

Last Sunday, I watched The Cat Returns, on which I have shared my thoughts here.

I have been watching a lot of videos about the rise of the Simpsons and how it’s become the zombie like state it is today, and it’s gotten me back into the series, and have decided to watch season 1-8 (Season 9 is said to be when it started to really go downhill), and I’m going to try and get the DVDs for each season when I can!


 

My thoughts on WATCH_DOGS 2

Friday, September 1st, 2017

I just finished WATCH_DOGS 2, so I decided, while it was fresh on my mind, to share my thoughts on the game and how it compares to the first game.

I want to get something off my chest first: Fuck you Ubisoft for making the PC version so difficult to find! The only way I could get this game physically on PC was if I bought the big San Francisco edition, which were hard to come by, and the prices kept fluctuating from expensive, to bank breaking!
I managed to get myself a copy in the end, though. Here is my copy!

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Also, for some strange reason, it’s on 4 discs, but only uses 3 of them when installing…

Anyway, how is the game itself? Well, to me, it’s the same gameplay as the first game, only the car physics are better (seeing that reflections worked on them, you’d hope so!) and it relies more heavily on RC devices such as drones, because they’re all the rage these days…

The story seems more bland and generic this time. Say what you want about Aiden Pearce, but at least his character has depth, he had another thing that is driving him forward, that is to revenge his neice’s death.

This new guy? He has nothing, just “Hey! Let’s hack CtOS!”, and the other characters are like “Yeah! Let’s!”, and that’s that.

All of the good guys seem to be there just to make sure that Ubisoft doesn’t offend anybody, and seemingly with the exception of one, doesn’t bother making them interesting characters with real backstories.

You have: Black man, White man, Woman, Black man with dreads, and Autistic.

The Autistic guy is the only one with a personal reason to do what he does, CtOS has been fucking around with his social support and whatnot.

So it’s for these reasons, I prefer the first game, I prefer there to be a real story. I have no reason to root for the good guys. They have no real motive to do what they do, other than to just do it for the sake of doing it!

However, from what I hear, this was the reason people prefer the second game, they wanted more focus on gameplay… fair enough I guess.

There are some really enjoyable missions in the game, others less so, and some side missions covering topics I find very disturbing.

Over time, though, they just started to feel a little samey, even the stealth sections, which is what I loved about the first game, eventually got boring for me. Only towards the end do you really get the interesting missions, but for the most part, the game’s missions and story are pretty forgettable in my opinion.

I’m also going to point out that the puzzle sections where you have to make sure there’s a connection from start to end, you know the ones, are ruined in the second game! Instead of simply rotating the camera in a otherwise empty area, you have to look for all the connections in the room you’re in, walking about and such, and it was just frustrating!

Overall, I enjoyed this game, but I don’t think I’d play the game again. I’d definitely play the first game, but not the second, I don’t think…

My thoughts on The Cat Returns

Sunday, August 27th, 2017

So I decided to watch The Cat Returns today, I’ve only seen a little bit of the film beforehand when it was on TV, and thought that it would be right up my alley! So I decided to get the Blu-Ray some years later, and give it watch. I finally got around to doing so, and I thought I’d write my thoughts about it here real quick. I gotta keep myself distracted from being bullied by my crippling depression and my antagonising anxiety somehow!

For those unaware, the Cat Returns is an anime film by Studio Ghibli released in 2002, and it involves cats…

I know some people are going to ask: I watched it subbed, but maybe in some cases, it might have been better to watch it dubbed, because a lot of the humor and whatnot involved the way cats spoke, which were just lost on me when listening to the Japanese, but by the time I realised this, I was well into the film, too late to change it without being put off by the sudden change.

Anyway, I thought it was a really good film. I was very into it when I watched it, at least originally. Visually, like every other Studio Ghibli film I’ve watched, it looked beautiful! It was very well drawn and animated, very colourful and cheerful! Why isn’t our world like this?!
It’s also so nice to watch a Blu-Ray film at 16:9! It’s good to actually see a film’s picture take up the entire TV screen! Thanks guys!

You can tell it wasn’t written entirely seriously, there was a lot of intentional comedy in it, and a lot of self-awareness was also present, maybe too much, almost like the writers couldn’t be bothered to rewrite the story to fill in the plot-holes, so they just leave it all in and just have characters say something like “Well, I knew we should have installed that…” or “Oh, how convenient!”. To me, it seems used as a crutch to make up for bad writing… though then again, it is an anime about a girl being sent to a kingdom of cats to marry a cat prince to rule a population of cats whilst having jokes about cats thrown at us (did I mention that this film is about cats?), so I guess anything goes, right?

This self-awareness practically made me lose my immersion, like it’s hard to feel immersed and worried about the characters if there’s always a convenient way out.

While I thought this was a really good film (and believe me, it was!), it’s not as good as the other Studio Ghibli films I’ve watched.

If you find this film on Blu-Ray or DVD for a good price, I’d say £10 or under, then go for it!

That concludes my review, I give this film 7 bags of cat-nip out of 10!

Okay, now the review is over, now go away!

Retro Diary #78

Sunday, August 20th, 2017

Last Sunday, me and my sister watched Beauty and the Beast… on VHS!

It was an interesting experience, and the quality wasn’t nearly as bad as I would have thought, considering we watched it on a big flatscreen TV and chances are, the previous owner watched this film over and over again, because that’s what kids did.

Though then again, it might not have looked so bad because it was a cartoon, there isn’t as much detail to… well, not be seen…

As for the movie itself, in my opinion, it’s just a run of the mill sing-a-long princess story, only without a princess. The “enchanted” objects do make for interesting characters, though.


 

Retro Diary #77

Sunday, August 13th, 2017

So on Thursday, it was my birthday, and I planned to go with some friends to the cinema to see Cars 3. Only one friend turned up, I’m not going to jump to conclusions as to why the others showed up.

Anyway, we met up,We watched someone play Super Mario 3D world at MEGABytes, and then we went and saw the film. I enjoyed it, you can see my thoughts on the film in this article.


On Friday, I went to the MEGABytes café, and played some PS1 games. The first was No Onbe can stop Mr. Domino, it was a fairly fun game, although it got really frustrating a couple of levels in.

I then played some Dead or Alive 1. I’ve never played the first game before, and it’s a typical 90s fighter from the time. There’s really not much to say here other than outside the main area are full of explosives, seemingly, if a player falls in this area, the ground blows up, propelling them into the air.

This was also before they started using the gimmick of bouncing tits, so the game was just bland in general. Fun, yeah, but bland, in my opinion.

Afterwards, I visited GAME at St. Enochs, and found that they have eliminated their PC stock, even their digital code cards are gone minus some Sims 4 ones… it’s happening… =(


On Saturday, I finally got around to playing Watch Dogs 2… and I’m addicted! I’ve already lost several hours because the game!

Gameplay-wise, it feels like Watch Dogs 1, but with better car physics, but seeing as I loved the first game, that’s a good thing!

 

Scots First: Kist o Riches — Island Voices – Guthan nan Eilean

Saturday, August 12th, 2017

A’v juist came across this, it’s an awfu interestin documentary aboot preservin audio recordins bi digitisin thaim!

Alistair Heather is the first to take up the latest “Sharing Gaelic Voices” challenge, as Scots becomes the ninth addition to our “Mother Tongues and Other Tongues” collection of languages! It started with a recent post to the Scots Language Forum on Facebook to see what interest there might be in recording Scots voiceovers to […]

via Scots First: Kist o Riches — Island Voices – Guthan nan Eilean

My thoughts on Cars 3 (Minor Spoilers)

Friday, August 11th, 2017

Got five minutes to spare? Well, you can read this article about what a nobody thinks about a film that is a month old. Sound good? Let’s continue!

So I went to the cinema to see Cars 3 yesterday, and I thought I’d give my views on the film while it’s still fresh on my mind.

I thought it was a very good film, though of course, I was going to be a little biased. I actually enjoyed Cars 1 and even 2. Nobody else seemed to like those at all.

Of course, if you view anything in a big screen in a dark room with the sound turned right up, you become more immersed and more invested in the film, so that might also be a factor in all of this.

Regardless, I enjoyed it. It wasn’t the awesome film I was hoping for, but I thought it was good, still.

The film actually went in a direction I wasn’t expecting, and because of that, the ending was also not what I expected.

I expected a sort of Rocky Balboa type situation, where it was just:

  1. Person is a legend at what they do
  2. Person is becoming old
  3. Person wants to keep doing what they are a legend of but can’t because they’re old
  4. Person trains extra hard for their final match/game/whatever of doing what they do
  5. Person wins or loses match with grace.
  6. Person retires.

Cars 3, however, whilst following this cliche to an extent, does do some things different, and whilst at first I was dissapointed at this, I was later on happy that they did something different. The thought of every story going through this pretermined path to the point that it becomes predictable is depressing to me, so it’s good to see something break that system!

What did they do exactly? Not telling you! I want to spoil as little as possible!

If there is one thing I didn’t like, it was the fact that the jokes about Lighting McQueen becoming “old” went too far, they just kept going on and on about it. Yes! I get it! He’s old! Thanks for reminding us that it’s going to happen to all of us someday! That out minds will eventually degrade into nothingless! That out skin will become saggy! That out muscles will become frail! That out immune systems will soon stop responding! You know, as if shit’s not hard enough as it is!

There are scenes that I didn’t exact to be in the film either, the races were quite entertaining, too!

Really, there’s not much else I can say about the film without spoiling it, but if you’re up for watching a film in a cinema, there a few showing left of this film, at least if you’re in Scotland like I am. I would reccomend you check this out! I mean, better this than the Emoji Movie, right?

Also, I found out that the film has a game out on the PS4, Xbox one and Wii U! It’s so rare that we see a movie game on consoles nowadays! Movies just get mobile apps nowadays! Even though this will most certainly suck, I’m going to buy it just for that experience! …Wait, was that the idea behind the game? (o sap people like me into bying it based on nostalgia? Hmm….

Anyway, that’s it for this post, see youse whenever, I guess… 

Retro Diary #76 – Back Home!

Sunday, August 6th, 2017

I’m back!

On Sunday, I met up with an old friend at a retro gaming cafe, where I played Bugs Bunny: Lost in Time on the PS1 for a few hours.

It’s actually a really good game. It fits the theme of the show perfectly, it has some great platforming elements to it! The only major flaw I found was that the controls can be very frustrating! The right analog stick does nothing. You have to use the L2 and R2 buttons to look around. Also, R1 is the action button…

Other than that, it’s a very good game, and I definitely see myself getting it when I can afford it!

After that, me and this friend went to get dinner where we talked about all sorts of things game related!

After that, we went home.


On Monday, I was talking to a friend online (for a good few hours, I might add!), and we takes about the Tony Hawk games for a bit (because she saw Underground 2 on PS2 for sale at a shop and was thinking of getting it), and how she played one of the games years ago, but can’t remember which, I helper her identify that it was Project 8.

While chatting to her, I found my old PS2 keyring, which broke off ages ago!


On Tuesday, another friend called me for a little chat, and asked how many PC games I had (I guess just to create conversation), and since I’ve lost count, I decided to just take some photos of my collection and sent them to him instead!

I’ve decided to share them here as well!


Nel cuore della Scozia

In viaggio tra Edimburgo e le Highlands

Island Voices - Guthan nan Eilean

Slices of Life and Work in the 21st Century Hebrides - for language learners, and anyone else!

MUNGUIN'S NEW REPUBLIC

This site supports Scottish Independence

National Day Calendar

Fun, unusual and forgotten designations on our calendar.

Scotland Moves on

independence plain and simple

yesdayscotland

Modern technology for peacefully resolving mass conflict

Wee Ginger Dug

Biting the hand of Project Fear

Cobra!'s Scrievin Site an Dream Diary

Whaur a mak up short stories fae Scrievin Prompt an whaur A store ma Dream Journal

Gamerstorm Developers Blog

Whaur wir Developers blether on aboot stuff!

World War 1 Live

Live-blogging the Great War

Scottish Games Network

The home of the Scottish Games Network

SHENMUE.DE

Das deutsche Shenmue-Fanblog

The Asexual Agenda

Furthering upper-level discussions of asexuality

Cobra!'s Retro Room

A blog documenting my gaming life.

Movie Night

YouTube's #1 Movie Review Show (in blog form!)

The Zandig Special

CZW Reviews, Rants and Rory Mondo

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