Retro Diary – 18/12/11 – "You’ve landed on the challenge square!"

Sunday, December 18th, 2011

Dear Diary,

This week wasn’t as busy as other weeks, so it shouldn’t take as long to write this.

On Saturday, while me and my brother were wrapping the rest of our other brothers’ presents, when my mum came in with a package, I recognised it, it was my 3DO, my mum said that I had too many presents for Christmas already, so she gave me the 3DO early!

On the same day, me and my brother went Christmas shopping, and we went HMV, Game, we bought a few presents for others in the family, and then we went to The G-Force store, there, I found XIII on Xbox for £2 and the Pokémon Soul Silver Strategy Guide for £10, I couldn’t resist.

When we were back, we were going to our Gran’s for some reason, but we were still going the next say, and our cousins were coming up, with that said, I decided to bring my 3DO up, the usual happened, I was playing a few games on my own before my cousins came, and my brothers were watching me, I asked them if they wanted a shot, they tried it out, my 8-year old brother hated it, but my 6-year old brother loved it, he was playing for most of the day.

When he wasn’t playing it, my and Giancarlo tried out Super Street Fighter 2, it was my first ever time playing it, so I set it to the easiest mode, and I got thrashed every time, I only got a win if I was lucky.

Then we tried Corpse Killer, which is an FMV (Full Motion Video) game, which nowadays, are supposed to be so bad, they’re awesome. We almost cried of laughter the fist scene, it had a very bad actor in unconvincing zombie/undead costume zombie and a Jamaican character, who couldn’t possibly be more stereotypical if he tried, and then it went to the actual game, it was just awful, we had a blast!

Then we tried Twisted, another FMV game I had for the 3DO, but this time, it was actually a decent little game, it’s a board game, it’s like Mario Party meets Monty Python’s Flying Circus. A major complaint with it, though, is that it’s a stricly a 4-player game, you can’t have A.I. in the game, so you need to play in 4-player, or you could play it in 2-player if you’re playing as 2 characters each, which was what we did.

Most of the squares in the game are called “challenge squared”, where you do a challenge (Never(!)), if you win it, you get to roll again, otherwise, it’s the next player’s turn, it said alot of variations of stating where you’ve landed, to avoid repetitiveness, and it actually works. When we packed the 3DO, we kept quoting the things said in the game, mostly “You’ve landed on the challenge square!”.

Later that night, my mum said to me that she had all of my presents wrapped except for one, because she ran out of wrapping paper, so she just gave me it early, it was a money bad, with a Mario mushroom picture on it.

Then I came across her room, the door was left wide open, and I saw Driver San Francisco Special Edition for PC, still unwrapped, and my CD32 under it, I told my mum about those, and she just let me have those early too, yes!

I tried out Driver: San Francisco on my PC, and it wouldn’t install, it wasn’t until the next day when I finally got it installed. (InstallAnywhere is a piece of sh*t!)

My laptop just met the game’s minimal requirements, heck, the RAM was way above the requirement, meaning that I can run it, right? Well, apparently not, the game ran at like 3 frames per second, the controls were delayed by a full second, and it crashed after a minute of playing. Those liars!

Steven was a work again, so it was just me and Gianni, instead of my original plan of bringing the Dreamcast, I thought that we didn’t play enough Twisted, and brought the 3DO again!

We played pretty much the same games as we did yesterday, but this time, the cousin that we played the Dreamcast with a while ago was there, he lived through the era, and recognised the 3DO, he said he never had one or knew anyone who did, but he said he remembered it being around.

We showed him Corpse Killer, and he seamed to enjoy it for it suckage! I would’ve thought that although the FMV games suck now, they were great at the time, they looks amazing, but my cousin, who was around at the time they were new, thought they were an awful idea, so it turns out they sucked back then.

He actually got further then I did, and we discovered that the game’s only attempt to increase the difficulty is to just throw (sometime literally) more zombies at you, they didn’t even make them stronger or get stronger ones in the game.

We were also talking about bad films, well, the so-bad-it’s-good type of films, including The Room and Troll 2.

In a nutshell, here’s what we played, both days coincidentally enough in the same order:

  • The Need for Speed*
  • Road Rash*
  • Crash N Burn*
  • Corpse Killer
  • Twisted
  • Escape from Monster Manor**

* = We didn’t play it on Sunday. ** = We didn’t play it on Saturday.
Not sure what we’ll do next week, because it’s Christmas day… I’ll get back to you on that…



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